


The Super Epic Adventures of Maddy the Corgi (On Ice!~)

by Malicei, NoFlowzakBozak



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Carolina Hurricanes, Chicago Blackhawks, Crack, Dallas Stars, Los Angeles Kings, M/M, Montreal Canadiens, OFC-Dog, Philadelphia Flyers, Toronto Maple Leafs, totally addicted to fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-30 19:35:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1022576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malicei/pseuds/Malicei, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoFlowzakBozak/pseuds/NoFlowzakBozak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically I got bored and now the world has this to deal with. A bunch of my OTP's and a corgi.<br/>(A present for my <em>darling</em> Hab friend)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tyler Bozak/Phil Kessel

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore.  
> Now I'm overwhelmed with two fics and exams are tomorrow. FML.-NoFlowzakBozak
> 
> Maddy corgi is an adorable pile of fluff. Also I'm changing the title to The Super Epic Adventures of Maddy the Corgi (On Ice!~). Because you suck at titles. And I want Mr FormerBallerinaOnIce to teach Maddy Corgi how to skate.  
> I'm the coauthor I DO WHAT I WANT!~  
> Ahem. This is why you should never give me power. Readers, enjoy this amazing piece of crack! -Malicei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First victims

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I freakin' love corgis

Maddy the Corgi sat, staring through the window, observing the behaviour of humans.

Two men sat on a big bed thing. One, with black head fur and a backwards hat was making strange noises and doing something seemingly pointless. He would mash buttons on a plastic thing in his hand and then throw his hands up and roar. Or something. Then he would whine and the other one, slightly shorter and with short brown hair, would make an amusing sound and poke the first one, and he would growl and slap the brown hair one, then continue mashing his plastic-

"DOG. DOG. DOGDOGDOGDOG!" Maddy yapped.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" The stranger barked.

Short human turned around and said something to the aggressive stranger. The stranger ceased barking and sat. Clearly this was the stranger's master. Maddy felt a surge of pride. _She_ didn't need a master. He looked Maddy's way. She ducked down, hiding. He made a confused sound and returned to the bed thing with backwards hat boy. Maddy looked back up to hear the short man make an excited sound, pointing a long paw appendage- a finger- at the brightly coloured screen. Maddy saw a corgi in the screen that looked just like her. She moved, the screen corgi followed. That was weird. The men ran out the front of the house making loud noises. Humans were weird. The noises got louder, no, closer! The humans appeared next to Maddy. The tall one made little cooing noises and crouched down, holding out his hand. Maddy looked into his hand. It was empty. Stupid human. Maddy looked up at him like he was an idiot. He wrapped his paws around Maddy's middle. She squirmed for a bit, then realised she was going nowhere. She relaxed. He had soft, warm hands anyway. Maddy could deal with these people for a little while. She licked his face to let him know. He made that strange pleased sound again and buried his face in her fur. That was odd. They took Maddy inside, the short man scratching her. That was nice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tyler put the little dog on the carpet. He crouched down to pet her. "What's your name, girl?" The little dog barked a tiny bark.

"I told you there was a dog there," Phil said smugly. Maybe next time Tyler would listen to him. Tyler looked up at Phil, flashing his long throat and killer grin.

"What do we call her?"

Phil looked down and went to answer when he was bowled over by Stella. "Oh, shit. Hey girl! Are you jealous?" Stella jumped off Phil and attacked Tyler instead. That was short lived. Phil thought he was losing the loyalty of _his dog_. Phil wiped the slobber off his face and smeared it through Tyler's short black hair. He missed the flow.

"Yuck!" Tyler laughed. He grabbed Phil's wrist and pulled him down to the ground. "So what do we call her?"

"I dunno, don’t rush me. Um, Smokey?"

"She's not even- you suck, man."

"You weren't complaining last night."

Tyler went red. No, he wasn't. "What about Bozie Junior?" Maddy growled. Phil smiled at this.

"Ugh, that's even worse. She agreed. She's blonde and brown. What about Caramel?"

"Close enough."

Phil got the feeling Tyler was just agreeing because he liked the benefits of being on Phil's good side.

 

Tyler poured some of Stella's food into a small bowl for Caramel (while Phil admired those jeans on his ass). That dog could _eat._ Stella watched on, looking disapproving. Did dogs have looks? Phil shrugged. Stella sure did, sassy little bitch. Tyler stood up from crouching next to Caramel. He nodded his head towards their room. "We have a game tomorrow. Shall we get some sleep?" Tyler's brown eyes flashed mischievously as he bit his lip. Goddammit, he _knew_ how he looked when he did that. Phil's legs walked seemingly of their own accord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maddy finished her bowl of plain, dry food. This was why she didn’t stay with people for very long. She was a connoisseur, her sensitive tastebuds couldn’t handle this level of blandness. The stranger, Stella, stared at her.

"What do you want?" Maddy asked. She wasn't going to be intimidated by this bitch.

"My owners. My food. But they told me to be nice," Stella growled. Maddy shrugged.

"You can have them, I'll be outta here and moving on in a little while."

Stella seemed pleased with this, but she was still guarded. She just growled softly. Maddy sauntered off, tail in the air, up to where the biggest bed was. She saw the two humans, Tyler and Phil, tangled together and speaking softly. Good, they left plenty of room for Maddy. She jumped up onto the bed, forgetting how small she was. Her front paws stayed on the bed while her back legs scrambled to get up. She yelped, "Help!" Tyler sat up and saw her, reaching over to pull her onto the bed. She licked his mouth 'thank you.' She had seen Phil do that, Tyler seemed to like it. For some reason he didn’t appreciate the gesture from Maddy, judging by the displeased noise he made. Phil reached over, patting her. The men seemed to have a discussion, which ended in her laying on top of the two. She crawled around a bit to get comfortable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phil laughed. "She likes your butt."

Tyler made a face. "She's not the only one."

Phil smiled and wrapped an arm around Tyler, tucking his face into Tyler's neck. "Go to sleep."

 

When they woke up in the morning, Maddy was gone.

 


	2. Jonathan Toews/Patrick Kane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neeeext up...KAZER!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're too freakin' cute I need to stop with the fluff it dominates my LIFE.

Maddy arrived at a beach house. She saw two new humans, sleeping in a hammock. One was very large with extremely muscular hind legs, the other was quite small with a mop of curly blonde fur on top of his head. Maddy took a moment to wonder at how humans wore their fur, they were so naked with only fur on the tops of their heads. Then they covered the naked parts with brightly coloured pretend fur. Some of them wore exactly the same fur. Maddy snorted with amusement, then ran across the beach to the new humans.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jonny ran his fingers through Patrick's curls. "This was a bad idea," he said seriously.

"Hmm?" Patrick hummed sleepily. He lifted his head from where he had been napping on Jonny's chest.

"What's the weight limit on this hammock?"

Pat groaned. "Why so serious? Enjoy life, man. It's our _honeymoon._ We only have three days off."

"Won't be able to enjoy it if we're broken from falling out of a hammock."

Pat gently banged his head against Jonny's chest in frustration. "Fine," he whined. He flopped out of the hammock with as much grace and class as he could muster. Which, being Patrick Kane (Patrick _Toews_ , he reminded himself with a smile), wasn't much. He stood up, dusted himself off and slapped one of Jonny's huge thighs. "Come on! If I have to get out you do too."

Jonny rolled out of the hammock with a groan and got up with possibly less grace than Patrick. The bigger you are, the harder you fall.

A little dog ran in circles around Jonny's ankles. Patrick squeaked (he would deny that later) and bent down, scooping up the little blonde and brown dog. He nuzzled into the dog's face, the dog licked him back.

"Pat," Jonny warned. "What if she has rabies?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These new people seemed like fun. For one, they weren't hiding their naked, furless bodies apart from some cloth around their groins. The smaller one, Patrick, made noises like a puppy. The larger one, Jonny, made deep purring noises, like a big cat. Maddy wrinkled her nose. _Cats._ But Patrick was so fluffy, like a puppy. She liked him immediately. He put Maddy back on the floor and she bounced around happily. She could feel playful vibes coming from Patrick. He patted his thighs. Maddy bounced up on them, then fell back down. She followed the excitable Patrick onto the beach and into the water. Maddy liked water.

NO. NO, SHE DIDN'T. The water was attacking! It splashed up at her from all sides and it was salty. Maddy was DROWNING!

No she wasn't. She put her paws on soft, wet sand. Tall Jonny waded into the water behind her, bundling her dripping body up in his arms. She shook, splashing Jonny and Patrick, who had come to stand with them, with water. She licked the salty wetness off Jonny's face, causing Jonny to smile slightly and Patrick to make that amused sound- laughing, Maddy thought they called it- again. Maddy was growing to like that laughing sound.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Patrick crowded in close to Jonny, wrapping his arms around him and the corgi. "Can we keep her?" Patrick tried his best persuasive smile.

"Will we have time to look after her?" Jonny was being serious again.

Pat pouted. "All the other guys have dogs," he whined. "I'll be the best doggy daddy, and you can be a good papa."

Jonny's expression softened slightly. Patrick saw his opportunity, and took it. He reached up and placed a salty kiss against Jonny's mouth.

Jonny smiled. "Only if  you let me call you Mr. Toews for the rest of the holiday."

Patrick didn't tell him that he would have let Jonny call him Mr. Toews for the rest of his life, if he wanted to.

 

"We can call her... _Tabernak_." Patrick grinned. He had been learning.

Jonny made a strangled sound. " _Absolutely_ not."

"What about _Petite Merde_?" Now Patrick was laughing. Jonny was choking on air.

"Where did you learn to be so vulgar? _No._ "

Patrick rolled over on his big beach towel to look at Jonny. Jonny was staring distantly out to sea, air drying. "Let's see you come up with something better."

"How about Trish?"

Patrick opened his mouth to protest, to tell Jonny how _dumb_ of a name that was, when he realised that Trish was usually short for Patricia. Patrick grinned massively. He had the best husband ever. He owed Jonny some serious blowjobs for that one. He asked the corgi, who was curled up on his stomach, dripping water all over him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maddy whined. She hadn't eaten all day, unless you counted sea water. She pawed at Patrick's stomach and made her best sad face, dropping her ears down, opening her eyes wide and tipping her head to the side. Patrick looked at her, made some noises. Maddy woofed. Patrick seemed pleased with this response. Maddy was confused, she hadn't even said anything important. Humans communicated in strange manners. Maddy whined again. She was still hungry. Patrick made some more high pitched noises at her. Jonny made more deep purring sounds which seemed to command Patrick. He picked Maddy up and took her inside.

Once they were inside, Patrick held up some food scraps to Jonny. Maddy barked, annoyed. _She_ was the hungry one here, not Jonny. Jonny nodded his head and Patrick put the plate of scraps in front of Maddy. Maddy sniffed the plate, wrinkling her nose. These were _scraps_ they were expecting her to eat. Oh well, she was in no position to complain. She supposed she would have to sacrifice some of her dignity for a meal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Patrick stood up from where he was crouched next to ~~Petite Merde~~ Trish, watching her eat. He tugged on Jonny's wrist. "Come to the couch?" He looked up through his eyelashes, trying his best to be seductive. Jonny just raised an eyebrow.

"That's probably the least effort you've ever made." But he still followed Patrick to the couch, so Patrick counted it as a win in his books. "Why the sudden urgency...Mr. Toews?" Jonny's voice went even lower on the 'Mr. Toews."

"I owe you one. For the whole 'Trish' thing." Pat smiled. He loved being called Mr. Toews.

Jonny grinned slyly, shoving at Patrick's shoulders. So he was in a playful mood. "I knew it'd get me brownie points."

"Shut up and let me suck your dick." Patrick pushed Jonny onto the couch, silencing Jonny with his mouth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maddy had finished her scraps. They hadn't tasted _too_ bad, better than the last meal she had had, that dry food. She looked around to find something to do, when she saw Jonny and Patrick on the couch. _That_ was a new activity. Maddy stared, bewildered, for a little while, trying to discover what exactly they were trying to achieve. She thought maybe Jonny was being murdered, because he was moaning and groaning like something's prey. But no, he didn’t seem to be fighting. And _that_ sure was an odd way to try and kill someone. Maddy settled with her mantra, 'Humans are weird.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Pat," Jonny said thickly. "Pat, st-stop." He tugged gently on Patrick's curls. Patrick pulled off with a wet sound, looking up at Jonny, confused. Jonny cocked his head over at Trish. "That's super creepy." Patrick looked over at Trish. She sat perfectly still, staring at them.

"Oh man, I can’t continue like this. What the fuck?" Patrick was super creeped out.

"Let's relocate eh?"

"Good idea." They all but ran from the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maddy felt sad. Jonny and Patrick had ceased their previous activity and ran away from her. She whined softly, looking in their direction. She silently thanked them for the food and good times, and ran out the back door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sacrificed study for this, just so y'all know.  
> Now I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.  
> Fuck it, maybe.


	3. Mike Richards/Jeff Carter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Partay bitches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just finished a three hour English exam and this is how I celebrated.

Maddy's sensitive ears heard a loud, pulsing beat. She was somewhat familiar with these noises, they usually meant a large congregation of humans making noise and mess. She followed the sound, interested. A house with bright, flashing lights was the source of the sound. Maddy strolled inside, observing the commotion. She didn’t understand what was going on. She was almost stepped on. She yelped out angrily, baring her teeth at some ankles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, sorry little guy!" A little dog yapped up at Jeff. He picked him up to inspect him-her, Jeff discovered. Big arms wrapped around his waist, lifting him into the air. "Aaaahhh! Richie! Mike, st-stoooop!"

A very drunk Mike held Jeff, bridal style. "Nice dog," Mike slurred. Jeff laughed at his flushed cheeks. He wondered how many drinks it took Mike to get to this point. Mike lifted Jeff high up, to Jeff's squeaks of protest. "Crowd surfing, baby!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maddy howled. She didn’t like to be this high up, she was only a small dog. Usually her head was quite close to the ground. She landed on a mass of human hands. People below her started to laugh and pass her around. She panicked, scrambling to get off. People were passing around Jeff as well. She was passed by him and he picked her up and rescued her. Jeff was a good human after all. She forgave him for almost stepping on her earlier. They finally got their feet back on the ground. Maddy didn’t like this place anymore. She wanted to escape. She scrambled around, trying to find an exit through this maze of calves. She stopped, distracted by a smell. Was that food on the floor? She crept closer, sniffing it. Yuck. No. That was _not_ food. She abandoned it, continuing her search for an exit. Hands wrapped around her again. Oh, god. Why did that _always_ happen? It was Mike, pushing his big flushed face against hers. She pulled her face away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shall we take you home? Whose are you?" Mike asked the dog.

"She doesn't like you. Look at her," Jeff said, taking the dog. "We should leave her here, probably belongs to someone."

Mike made a sad face. "She's so cute though."

Jeff put her on the floor, patting her head. She sat, looking happily up at him. He was falling for this dog. "Tell you what, we'll ask Jon if he knows who's dog this is." Mike smiled at him, slinging an arm around his shoulders. Jeff was pretty sure he was the only reason Mike was still standing. "Jon! JON! JONATHAN FUCKING QUICK WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" Jeff yelled over the throb of music. Quick appeared next to Jeff. "Shit. Wow, that was...quick."

Mike snorted.

"Anyway, whose dog is this?" Jeff asked, holding up the corgi.

Jonathan shrugged. "Never seen her before in my life."

Mike hugged Jeff. "So she's ours! Can we take her home? Can we name her?"

Jeff loved drunk Mike. "You know what, I think we need to go home anyway. Seeya Quickie." He put his arm around Richie's shoulders and guided him out, holding the dog in the other arm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maddy was dumped unceremoniously into the back seat of a car. Last time she had been in a car...she shuddered. She didn’t like cars. They made her feel nervous. Maddy needed to pee. She saw two large, black matching pieces of cloth. Perfect. She relieved herself on one. Much better. She curled up and went to sleep on the other.

 

She woke up to that laughing sound. Humans do that a lot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mike was on the verge of crying. So was Jeff, although his was of laughter. They had opened the back door of the car to get the corgi, and found her asleep on Jeff's jersey and pee on Mike's. Mike stomped inside. Jeff bundled up the sleeping corgi and the jerseys and took them inside. He saw Mike snoring on the couch. Bloody hell, he was _gone_. Jeff carried the sleeping corgi to his room and put her on the end of the bed. He didn’t like sleeping alone and a corgi was better than nothing.

 

Correction. Nothing would have been _much_ better than a corgi. Jeff woke up to fur. Fur EVERYWHERE. This was why they didn't have a dog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maddy woke up on a furry bed. She could smell a gross human, it wasn't Jeff. Jeff smelled different. No, this was _awful._ Like dead things and sick things. That was Mike. Maddy couldn’t stand that smell. She snorted, sneezed, pawed at her nose. Anything to make the smell go away. She couldn't handle it. She ran. Far, far away from that smell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The aforementioned English exam was basically a Kazer fic in disguise I FUCKING NAILED HIGH SCHOOL.  
> This is what happens when you give me an OPEN ENDED prompt.


	4. Tyler Squared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too much Tyler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must. Stop. Writing. Fluff.

"Y'know something, Ty? It's really sad how little we get to catch up."

Tyler Brown nodded thoughtfully. He and Segs sat on a little picnic rug with a basket filled with delicious food. It was one of their rare days off and the Stars were in Philly. It was really an odd thing to be doing, just having a casual picnic lunch. Neither of them cared, they were just happy to be together.

"Shall we walk?" Segs stood up, holding a hand out to Tyler. He took it, Segs hauling him up. Segs led Tyler down a little path, completely surrounded by a tunnel of trees. Tyler felt like they were in their own world, cut off from everyone else. He looked down at their intertwined fingers, then back up at Segs, a questioning look on his face. Segs squeezed Tyler's hand, smiling softly. Tyler took this as a good sign and leaned his head on Segs' shoulder and appreciated the beauty of the park.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maddy could smell something amazing. Food! For sure this time, not like that other 'food' at the party. She hadn't had proper food for a long time, so her sensitive nose was going crazy for this. It smelled so GOOD. She followed her nose and found a basket, open, filled with cakes and sandwiches and pies, oh my! Maddy stuck her nose into the basket and decided not to eat it all now. She bit down on the handle and started to drag the basket off to a safe place. This proved to be extremely difficult, considering the basket was bigger than Maddy and she wasn't exactly sure _what_ a safe place was. She hauled the basket over to a bush, tipped it over and examined the contents, deciding what to eat first.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tyler and Segs were returning from their walk to enjoy some of those delicious cakes (Segs insisted he made them, but, considering some of them were still in their packaging, Tyler was pretty sure that was a lie).

"Shit! Where's the basket?" Segs pointed at their picnic rug- it was empty. Segs started running towards it, pulling Tyler with him.

"There, look." Tyler pointed to a bush, in front of it was their basket, tipped over and with a little doggy butt sticking out of it. Tyler couldn’t help it, he started laughing. Segs wasn't amused. He held a finger up to his lips and tiptoed over to the dog. And really, seeing a 6'1" man _tiptoeing_ was about one of the funniest things Tyler had ever seen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maddy yelped. Hands wrapped around her middle. Why did that _always_ happen? She scrambled to hold onto something, anything, but she was powerless. She started to bark at the offender, which was difficult when her mouth was full of cake. Oh well, it had been worth it for that cake. Although, it could have done with a little less plastic. But, given the meals she had eaten recently, that was pretty amazing. Maddy realised she was going to regret that cake later. She had a figure to maintain!

Two men were looking at her, poking her, prodding her and making soft noises of affection. She found it amusing how she could make big, tough men go squishy like this.

Maddy was starting to see a pattern here, with the people who were picking her up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"This bitch ate our cake," Segs complained. He was holding the little criminal out at arms length. The evidence was all over her muzzle.

Tyler had already forgiven her. That face, that tuft of fur on her chest. The little dog screamed sass. He stroked her head and looked at Segs with pleading eyes, hoping he could convince Segs.

"No. I know exactly what that face is for, we are not keeping a dog. Who would keep it? Where? No. And she _stole_ our _cake_." Segs placed the dog on the ground. She sat on her stumpy hind legs, looking up at them pleadingly. Tyler squatted down to the dog's level. Well, as close as he could get. She was quite small, and he was quite large.

"You wanna come home with us, don’t you honey." Tyler looked up at Segs. "Can we call her Honey?"

Segs rolled his eyes. Tyler upped the pleading eyes, knowing Segs couldn’t resist them for much longer. Segs stuck his hands over Tyler's eyes. "I know what you're doing." Well, that didn’t work. Tyler couldn't see. He heard Segs say softly, "I'm sorry." He felt his head tipped back, and Segs kiss him gently, upside down. "I know how much you want a dog. Maybe, when we can spend more time together, we can get one. _Our_ dog." Tyler smiled. The hands came off his eyes.

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two men stood up, picking up Maddy's basket of food. One of them waved at her, and they turned around and walked off. Maddy wondered where they were going. Were they taking her? Maddy sat and watched for a minute to see if they would turn around to get her. One man looked back. He seemed sad. Maddy's tail perked up. Was he going to come get her? No. The man turned around and kept walking.

 

Maddy trotted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck canon Maddy can walk from LA to Philly. This is why it's crack.


	5. Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corgi angst!!!

Maddy had walked and walked. She had lived the life of a wanderer for a long time. She had taken pride in being independent, in not needing a master.

But recently, she had felt the love of humans, how affectionate they were. How much easier life was when someone got food for you, how much nicer a human bed was than a sidewalk or box. How much nicer even their dry food was than restaurant dumpsters.

Frankly, Maddy had tasted the good life and she was no longer proud of being homeless.

 

She rested her head on her paws and fell asleep, dreaming of beautiful owners.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearing the end. I have spent a surprising amount of time writing in the last two days.


	6. Carey Price/Jeff Skinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New friends for Maddy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS MALICEI'S FAULT

Carey was fucking Jeff hard into the hotel room mattress. _His_ Jeff. They had just learned how to do this, and Carey was loving every moment of it.

The 'Canes were visiting the Habs. Before the game, Jeff had said, grinning, "Winner gets control." Carey had made sure to stop _every single shot._ Jeff's face during the handshake line was classic. " _Foutre au cul_ , bitch," Carey had whispered. Now he was claiming his prize. He would make Jeff plead, and whine, and make those little desperate noises that full grown men should not be able to make.

 

Carey looked up, out the window for a moment. "What the…" He managed. A corgi was staring at them.

"What," Jeff gasped out from beneath him. Carey had stopped. He pointed. Jeff 's eyes followed his finger. "How the hell...What floor are we even on?"

"I dunno but…" Carey said breathlessly. "But that's not safe." He rolled off the mattress, opened the window and let the shivering dog in.

"Feeling neglected down here, buddy." Jeff said from the mattress. Carey sat back down on the little bed. Jeff sat up, wrapping his arms around Carey's chest and kissing his neck. "Come on, let's deal with her in a minute."

"Okay," Carey said, sinking back down on top of the smaller man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The big man had rescued Maddy. It sure was cold up here, compared to the other places Maddy had been.

Maddy was tired from her adventuring. She curled up on the warm carpet and fell asleep.

 

When she woke up, she saw the big man who had rescued her wrapped around a smaller man on an even smaller bed, snoring. She jumped up onto the little bed, she could reach! Just. She put her paws on the big man's face and licked him. He tasted salty, sweaty. One of his eyes opened slightly. Maddy jumped off his face to look at him properly. His handsome face cracked into a smile. Maddy licked his mouth, causing him to cough and splutter. She put her nose in his messy, dark hair. She liked this man. A big arm emerged from under a cover and wrapped around her, pulling her in close to his chest. Maddy snuffled against him happily.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeff shivered. Carey had pulled away from him, leaving his back bare. Jeff rolled over to snuggle back against him and saw him holding a little dog, unbelievable joy on his face. Wow. Last time he had made that face was the first time Jeff had kissed him. Carey saw Jeff looking. He held out the dog to Jeff. "Look!"

"I can see! There's a dog in my spot."

"No, she…We used to have a corgi when I was little. They're my favourite dog."

Jeff 'aww'ed softly, patting the dog's head. Carey wasn't looking at Jeff, he only had eyes for the dog.

"She has no collar, I guess you could keep her."

Carey looked at Jeff then, eyes shining. He was like a kid again. It was slightly unsettling to Jeff, considering Carey was about five years older than him. "Shall we take her to my house?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maddy was put into a car again, but this one was nicer. The ride was smooth and the seats were plush. Jeff drove while Carey sat in the passenger seat with Maddy on his lap. Maddy bounced around on Carey, putting her front paws on his chest and licking his chin and cheeks, making him show his big, toothy grin. She rolled over, letting Carey scratch her belly. Maddy didn’t allow many people to scratch her belly.

She finally settled down and just sat on Carey's lap, looking outside at the unfamiliar trees and houses. She put her paws up to touch them, but was blocked by an invisible screen. She whined, looking at Carey. Carey pressed a button and the invisible screen started to melt away. Maddy stuck her head out of the car to get a better look at where they were going. A hard wind hit her. She stuck her tongue out, letting it dangle. She barked happily as Carey's hands wrapped around her middle, holding her, stopping her from flying away. She looked back at him happily.

Suddenly, the breeze stopped. The car had stopped moving. Maddy looked at Carey again, confused. Carey pulled her back inside and started to talk to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We're home, girl! Do you like it?" Carey opened the door and exited the car, taking the dog inside and putting her down in the hallway, letting her sniff around. Carey crouched down to continue patting her. Jeff put his hand in Carey's hair to get his attention.

"Leave her be for a little while. She's in a new place. She needs to explore and get settled." Carey nodded and stood up.

"Do you think she's hungry?"

"Considering she's sniffing around in the kitchen already, maybe."

Carey laughed his amazing, loud laugh, following the dog into the kitchen. Jeff trailed. He found Carey bent over in front of the fridge. He couldn't help it, he reached over and squeezed his ass. Hockey players have great asses. Carey straightened up, whirling around. "I'm looking for dog food," he said through a mouthful of cupcake.

"Last time I checked, that wasn't in a hockey player's diet."

"The cupcake or the dog food?"

Jeff rolled his eyes. He went to the pantry to search for something.

"What about this?" Carey called from the fridge. He was holding up a piece of raw meat. Jeff nodded approvingly. "I'll cook it up," Carey said, grabbing a frying pan.

 

Carey put the plate of meat down on the floor, whistling to the dog. She sniffed the steak cautiously, seemed to deem it worthy of her eating, and tried to _inhale_ it. "Big appetite for a little dog," Jeff observed.

"Kinda like you," Carey teased, leaning an elbow on Jeff's shoulder and making a point of looking down to him.

"Shut up. I'm the perfect height. You're just a ridiculous giant goalie man."

"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure."

Jeff didn’t like this conversation because he always lost. He tried his favourite tactic- changing the subject. "Do you have a name for her?"

Carey looked thoughtful. "Well...I always wanted to name a dog Maddy. But that seems kinda boring. What do you think?"

"Whatever, man. She's your dog, I can’t take her back to Carolina on the plane." Carey looked sad for a moment, like he just remembered that Jeff had to leave. "Hey! Don’t cry, I'll come visit in the offseason." Jeff said, patting Carey's arm.

"Alright. Maddy it is, then. HEY! I have an idea." With that, Carey ran off, leaving Jeff bewildered. He returned holding a red, blue and white pile of fabric that looked like jersey but was too big to be just one. He shook out the pile and two jerseys fell out, a 'Price' one and a blank Maple Leafs one. Jeff stared at the Blue and White jersey in shock.

"You just casually keep one of them in your room?"

Carey looked sheepish. "Never know when you might need to let out a little frustration."

Jeff decided to just drop it. Carey held up the two jerseys by the necks, the Price one with considerably more care than the Leafs one. He bent down to Maddy, calling her name. "See if she responds." To both of their amazement, she did! Maddy came bounding at them with as much speed as a corgi with tiny legs can muster. Carey held out the two jerseys to her. "Which one?" he asked. Jeff groaned. Was this what that classic rivalry had been reduced to? To Jeff's amusement and Carey's disgust, Maddy tugged on the bottom of the Leafs one. Jeff laughed, Carey made a gagging noise. He dropped the jerseys and held up his hands in surrender. "That dog is getting disown-woah." As they watched, Maddy started to hassle the Leafs jersey, like it was prey. Within seconds, it was reduced to a pathetic imitation of the jersey it once was. Little bits of blue rained down around Maddy. She sat and looked at Carey, as if awaiting his approval. Carey started to laugh. Short, sharp laughs at first, then louder, until it was a full belly laugh. Maddy walked over to the Price jersey, sniffed at it and curled up on the 31. Carey wiped a tear from his eye as he bent down to fold Maddy up in his jersey and hold her close to his chest. He looked Jeff dead in the eyes.

"She's perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there go my feels.  
> And any team loyalty I thought I had. I'll be surprised if any of Leafs Nation still wants to talk to me after that. _I_ barely want to speak to me.-NoFlowzakBozak
> 
> AHAHAHA YESSSSS-Malicei
> 
> No, I'm not telling you what Carey said to Jeff in the handshake line. You really wanna know, google translate it.-NoFlowzakBozak


	7. EPIClogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dogs on ice and Mr. FormerBallerinaOnIce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M CRYING MAKE IT STAHP DON'T BE MEAN TO CARLTON

Carey was picking up the remnants of Maddy's latest Blue and White victim, a little, stuffed, jersey-wearing polar bear that was the size of her, when he heard a sharp knock on his door. Maddy bolted towards the door, like she knew something Carey didn't. Carey walked down the hallway to answer the door. Maddy sat in front of it, wagging her tail on the floor like a maniac and looking up at Carey, just waiting for him to open it. "You're gonna have to move so I can open it, bud," he requested, then realised he was talking to a dog. He slid her across the wooden floor with his foot and opened the door with one hand, a pile of fluff and mini-jersey in the other arm.

Jeff stood in front of Carey. His jaw dropped open, before he engulfed Jeff in a huge hug, completely disregarding the polar bear remains that were now scattered across his floor. Again. Jeff hugged him back just as hard.

"Maybe we should step inside," Jeff whispered. Carey agreed. He shut the door behind them and continued to hold Jeff. Maddy ran in circles around both their feet, licking Jeff's ankles. "I told you I'd be back in the offseason," he said happily. "Although, yours arrived a lot sooner than ours," he teased. Carey pulled away, smiling, taking in Jeff's joy-filled face and long, tousled hair.

"You let it grow out," he stated, running his fingers through Jeff's hair. Jeff grinned and nodded.

"I see you've been training Maddy," Jeff said, pointing to the dead polar bear. Carey laughed. "I was _born_ there. Have some respect!" Jeff said, feigning hurt.

"She's a good dog. So, did you want to do something today?"

"Yeah, you can make me a delicious authentic French-Canadian lunch and then we can sit on the couch and watch rom-coms all day," Jeff answered sarcastically.

"If I cooked, we’d be spending the offseason in hospital beds together," Carey said with complete seriousness. "No, I was thinking, y'know. Maybe we could go out somewhere and do something fun."

"We could teach the dog to skate."

 

So it was that the three of them ended up in the empty Bell Centre. Carey finished lacing up his skates and hit the ice, to the sight of Jeff skating circles and doing pirouettes. Carey watched, mesmerised by Jeff's grace. "Look, Maddy. Look how pretty he is." Jeff stopped when he noticed Carey watching. He skated shyly over to Carey, who was standing by the boards.

"Come on, goalie man. Can't skate without your gear?"

"Actually, it's really weird without my pads," Carey said, shaking an arm out to emphasise how small and light they felt. He put Maddy down gently on the ice. She gingerly tried to step forwards, only to have all her paws slip out from under her and fall flat on her belly. Jeff laughed as Carey helped her back onto her feet. She stuck her claws into the ice and refused to move. "Come on, dog," Carey encouraged, taking small strides towards centre ice.

"That dog is going _nowhere._ " Jeff pointed out. He picked her up and put her in the penalty box. "Now you stay there like a good girl, okay?"

"Jeff," Carey said. "She's a _dog_. She doesn't understand you." He chose not to say that he spoke to her as well. Jeff met Carey on the Montréal logo at centre ice.

"Wanna play a game?" he asked. Carey raised an eyebrow.

"What does that tone imply?" Carey was interested.

"Strip shootout," Jeff answered, winking. Carey was _very_ interested. "Miss a shot, take an item of clothing off."

"Hey, that's no fair, Mr. Spin-o-Rama King. I'm a goalie. I'll be naked in two seconds flat. Wait, is that what you're aiming for?" Carey asked, raising an eyebrow. Jeff went red.

"Maybe. Haven't you seen goalie goals before? Now, where do you losers keep your equipment?" Carey led Jeff to the rooms.

 

A pile of pucks lay spread in front of them. Carey swung the practice stick out in front of him like a sword. "They're so _tiny_ ," he commented. "Now, there have to be some rules, like you can't shoot from in the crease. That's stupid."

"Okay," Jeff agreed. Carey would _never_ get his clothes off if he could shoot from there. "From the blue line. Me first." And Jeff slapped it, _hard_ , into the back of the net. He spun around, looking smugly at Carey. "Your turn."

Carey shrugged his shoulders, loosened his muscles. He looked at the open net. Wow, the net seemed a lot further away when he wasn't in front of it. He took a deep breath, fired. The shot went so wide it hit the glass. Jeff started laughing behind him, then slid his hand up the back of Carey's t-shirt. "Get it off."

Carey rolled his eyes. "Can't wait to get my clothes off." Typical Jeff.

"Outta the way, tendy. My shot." Jeff went bar-down. 2-0. Fuck. He had a shit-eating grin plastered to his face. Maddy barked her support from the sin bin.

"You keep out of this," Carey said as he lined up for another shot. This one hit the pipes and deflected with a loud 'crack.'

"Next item!" Jeff announced gleefully, tugging on Carey's shorts.

"Hey, hey. Not yet," Carey said, pulling off his signature cowboy hat.

"No, that comes _next._ " Jeff protested, putting the hat back on Carey's head and tugging on his shorts again.

"Fine." Carey was down to his underwear and a hat. There were now items of his clothing strewn across no-man's land.

Jeff lined up for a final shot. Carey observed his shooting motion, his focus. His grace and power. Carey saw the shot go high, over the net. "Fuck," Jeff swore as he removed his hoodie. Carey did a little fist pump as he lined up for his last shot. Maddy barked an encouragement. Or probably a chirp, knowing that dog. He basically missed the puck, as it did a pathetic little slide and stopped at the slot. "Ostie de tabernak…" he muttered, pulling off his hat and throwing it at Jeff.

Jeff caught the hat and put it on his head. "Cold, honey?" Jeff asked with a giggle. A few little brown curls stuck out from under the hat, which was far too large from him. His big, brown eyes looked out earnestly from under the wide brim. Why did he have to look at Carey like that? Carey took one of Jeff's hands and pulled him to skate around slowly together.

"Teach me how to skate like you," Carey requested.

"That's impossible," Jeff answered cheekily. "It'd take _years_." They skated to the penalty box and released Maddy, who bounced out and onto the ice, apparently forgetting that they had been mortal enemies not too long ago. She bounded along for a couple of steps, then her legs splayed out again and she was sliding along on her belly, much to Jeff and Carey's amusement. Carey shivered. He had forgotten how cold rinks could get. _The ice has to stay frozen, idiot._ Jeff noticed him shivering. "As much as I enjoy the sight of your chest and arms, I can't let you freeze to death. Here." and he threw his jumper at Carey. Carey held it up, taking in how small it was. He shrugged and pulled it on. It was fluffy and warm inside, and smelled like Jeff. Jeff whistled. "That pulls on you in _all_ the right places."

"So, everywhere? Because these guns are about to bust a seam or two." Carey said, flexing. Jeff just shook his head in mock disapproval, smiling.

"Come on," he said, picking up Maddy and Carey's pants. "You still owe me authentic French-Canadian food. I always wanted to try Poutine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too much cute I'm sad it's over but hey that was probably the most fun I've ever had writing a fic.

**Author's Note:**

> It's sort of an inside joke, I'm sorry.  
> *I might take a while to update my fics because I have exams soon.


End file.
